Easiest Way to Remember the Planets in the Solar System (18+)


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A Father teaching his son about the planets in the solar system.

Father: What other way do I call you?
Son: son?

Father: Correct, now when you show someone your ass, what is the act called?
Son: to Moon

Father: Excellent. Ok still within your ass area, what is another word for your butthole?
Son: your anus?

Father: I’m impressed son 😊, one more question that has to do with your ass, when you get sick and you have to measure your temperature rectally, what do you use?
Son: thermometer?

Father: Right, now tell me what’s in it?
Son: mercury?

Father: Good job, what is on the other side of your ass?
Son: penis?
Father: Good, now substitute the p with a v
Son: venis?

Father: You are on a roll kiddo. What crappy car does your mom drive?
Son: Saturn?

Father: Nice, what is the name of Mickey Mouse’s dog?
Son: Pluto.

Father: So proud of you son, what is your favorite chocolate?
Son: Mars
Father: Good choice, now if you take the caramel out of that Mars Chocolate bar what does it become?
Son: Milky way?
Father: Yup, and that is the name of the galaxy that contains our solar system
Son: galaxy? Isn’t that a chocolate?

Father: Exactly, that’s what makes learning about it so sweet.
now answer this: you Rob Paul to pay who exactly?
Son: Peter.
Father: Good, now stay with me. What is Peter’s religion?
Son: Christian
Father: Right, that means he was not a – – ???
Son: Muslim?
Father: True, but try another one.
Son: Jew?
Father: Now put them together, he was not a – -?
Son: Jew Peter?

Father: You are gifted son, I think you are ready for a job at Nasa.
Son: isn’t there one more planet though?

Father: You are absolutely right, and there is no reasonable explanation to that one, I guess it fell through the cracks, they call it Neptune. Just memorize it.

P.S: I am assuming you all know we live on earth 🙂 

Raghid K. Khalil 

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Putting Things in Perspective


Ever since we learned how to talk, it was imperative to tell people how old we were, “I am Two”,  “I am three and a half”. Of course, when children say it, it sounds so cute. As we get older, we start measuring things in the same exact way we did as children, using years, days and months; which seems the only normal way of doing things.

We make this much money a year, we will retire at this age or in this many years. All seemed going smoothly until we discovered that animal years are different from that of a human. For instance, a 14 years old dog is considered to be like an 82 years old man in human years. So when we look at a dog that is 14 years old, he might be thinking “This human is more like a dinosaur, he is at least 200-250 years old”, right?

So we just did a comparison between two living organisms, the human being and the dog. We can definitely expand the list to include mammals, fish and all sorts of other species.

Now the fun part begins. I think by now you might have an idea of what I am proposing. Let us compare our human years to the years in heaven. Are they the same? Are they different? Well, what if they’re different. What if one day in heaven is equivalent to one year on earth? What if one day equates to 100 or a million years?

Now here’s where the scary thought really is. What if God has a day off?

If our time here on earth is relatively equal to heaven’s time, then we risk an entire 24 hour without any divine interference due to God’s day off. Think globally now! Galaxies, planets etc… Everything is hanging by a thread.

If our time here on earth is vastly different from heaven’s time, then what? If our earthly 100 years equate to one day, and that happens to be the day God decided to have a day off, then what? Then the fun begins. Do you really want to be around on God’s day off?

You would pray to God, but he’s not listening because it’s his day off. Try praying in a 100 years when he’s available.

P.S: I am not saying that God has a day off. I am not trying to insult anyone, but I’m simply trying to put things in perspective. Be grateful to what you have.