Easiest Way to Remember the Planets in the Solar System (18+)


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A Father teaching his son about the planets in the solar system.

Father: What other way do I call you?
Son: son?

Father: Correct, now when you show someone your ass, what is the act called?
Son: to Moon

Father: Excellent. Ok still within your ass area, what is another word for your butthole?
Son: your anus?

Father: I’m impressed son 😊, one more question that has to do with your ass, when you get sick and you have to measure your temperature rectally, what do you use?
Son: thermometer?

Father: Right, now tell me what’s in it?
Son: mercury?

Father: Good job, what is on the other side of your ass?
Son: penis?
Father: Good, now substitute the p with a v
Son: venis?

Father: You are on a roll kiddo. What crappy car does your mom drive?
Son: Saturn?

Father: Nice, what is the name of Mickey Mouse’s dog?
Son: Pluto.

Father: So proud of you son, what is your favorite chocolate?
Son: Mars
Father: Good choice, now if you take the caramel out of that Mars Chocolate bar what does it become?
Son: Milky way?
Father: Yup, and that is the name of the galaxy that contains our solar system
Son: galaxy? Isn’t that a chocolate?

Father: Exactly, that’s what makes learning about it so sweet.
now answer this: you Rob Paul to pay who exactly?
Son: Peter.
Father: Good, now stay with me. What is Peter’s religion?
Son: Christian
Father: Right, that means he was not a – – ???
Son: Muslim?
Father: True, but try another one.
Son: Jew?
Father: Now put them together, he was not a – -?
Son: Jew Peter?

Father: You are gifted son, I think you are ready for a job at Nasa.
Son: isn’t there one more planet though?

Father: You are absolutely right, and there is no reasonable explanation to that one, I guess it fell through the cracks, they call it Neptune. Just memorize it.

P.S: I am assuming you all know we live on earth 🙂 

Raghid K. Khalil 

Spying on us U.S.?


So they’re spying … big deal!

ImageLately, that’s all we hear about on the news, how the US is spying on almost everyone on earth, even its closest allies. Well to reassure everyone, the USA just like any other country is also spying on its own people. In other words, they are employing the “equal spying opportunity” and that is something anyone spied on should feel proud of and should take advantage of.

But I am still not happy about that for one main reason. A few days ago I got the flu, and I was shivering in my bed with a high fever. I couldn’t even make it to the kitchen to prepare myself a soup or even get my own medication. Did they check up on me? No. Did they send me any medication? No. Did they at least send me a “get well soon, card”. No, Nothing. I got nothing from anyone. Yet we both know that they know I was sick.

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That same night, my one year old son started crying in the middle of the night, in his own crib. I felt helpless towards him. I wanted to go pick him up, but I couldn’t for two reasons, I was extremely sick, and I didn’t want to spread my virus or whatever I had on to my son; but I expected uncle Sam who spends sleepless nights watching us and over us to at least send in a Nanny to soothe my child back into sleep. Unfortunately, that didn’t happen either.

Now tell me, am I asking for too much here? Isn’t that why they are spying on us? Isn’t it to provide us care when we need it the most?

I am a bit disappointed to be honest with you, but I will keep on giving them another chance since I have no other option. With that being said, I could really use a hand with the laundry. If only someone was listening closely …

 

Raghid Khalil 

 

Once Upon a Time… (1)


Once upon a time on a not too far galaxy from here… As a matter of fact I can take you there. Really! it’s just around the corner. If you want we can go there right now. Even better, I will give you directions.
From this location, keep going straight until you hit the second stop light, you make a left. In less than half a block you will see a grocery store, you walk into it, around the middle of the second aisle, on the third shelf from the bottom you will see the Galaxy I was referring to. Just so no one gets confused, it’s the regular plain Galaxy bar, no nuts, no caramel. Anyway, on that specific galaxy was a coupon with a discount and I bought it… The End.

— Raghid Khalil Khalil

Polticians


What scares you the most?

Drugs,  Alcohol,  Trafficking, Crimes, etc..

Politics! That’s what scares me the most.  We have our beloved politicians, that we run to the voting booths all over the world to elect the best ones to represent us. But doesn’t it scare you to know that drug dealers, traffickers and criminals have the same right to vote? doesn’t it creep you out, to know that the politicians you have elected to represent you and whom you have identified yourself with, have also been elected by those you are trying to eliminate?

From the way I see it, our politicians are a subset of both the “frightened voter” and the “feared voter”.  I wonder who has more influential power.

Let me put it this way; we still have drug dealers, trafficking is still ongoing, criminals are everywhere and of course alcohol has been legalized after years of war against “Al Capone”.

Something to think about.

— Raghid Khalil