New and Improved


tablets-309742_640I went to the pharmacy the other day to buy the usual brand of medicine for my cold and flu.

As I was checking out the isle, I noticed this medicine, which is what I was looking for, it’s as if it’s pulling all attention towards it. There was a perfect square around it of empty spots, in other words there were no other drugs adjacent to it from all directions; and there it was levitating almost, and there was this big sign pointing at it “New and Improved”.

Wowsers, I was so excited about it. I grabbed the box and took it to the pharmacist to inquire about the new improvements as there was that one line on there that mentioned the only active ingredient, followed by a two by two table for directions based on age: 1 tablet if under 12 and 2 tablets if over the age of 12.

Everything seemed exactly the same as the original one, but when I asked the pharmacist he graciously explained: “oh, the pharmaceutical company added a tiny booklet in the box because they didn’t have enough space to include the additional 30 warnings on the existing label. It is a state of the art with double glossed paper. They wanted to add some gruesome images but instead at the bottom of the booklet they put a link to the warning’s website, where your eyes can feast on all sorts of images. But hey, if you come back next month they will be reissuing the Cadillac of this medicine. It will come with a thumb drive that has a screen saver that will display all the warnings in close to 50 slides. Not only that but you would also be able to register the drug online after you purchase it and they would send you a DVD with complete simulation of all the warnings, walking you through the steps from A-Z. It will feel so realistic that you would cry at the end of each section.”

So there you have it, the new and improved indeed.

 — Raghid Khalil

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